New Year, Same Roadblocks: What’s Really Stopping You?

It’s that time of year again—fresh starts, lofty goals, and the promise of a “new you.” Each year I do a year-end review and plan for the future.  One of my steps is to review where I did not achieve my goals.  Is it a goal I really want to achieve or is something I think I “should” do and really does not resonant with me?  One of my goals from last year that does resonate with me was to complete my estate planning (same goal for three years now).  And… I didn’t get it done.  I started strong.  Found a trusted advisor, identified a great attorney, got a draft of the plan and then……..  I stalled.

Do you set New Year’s resolutions with the best of intentions: run a marathon, save for a dream vacation, lose weight, or finally write that book. Yet, as the weeks go by, those resolutions start to lose their shine, and progress seems to stall.

What keeps you from achieving the things you want? I’m not talking about unavoidable circumstances, like breaking your leg and missing the marathon or losing your job and postponing that trip. I’m talking about the things 100% within your control. So, what’s really getting in the way?

Maybe it’s your limiting beliefs.


Say What?

Limiting beliefs are our personal, individual, and often unique saboteurs of success. They are limiting because they hold us back from acting on or engaging in the activities that we promised ourselves we would do. They are beliefs because they are the stories we tell ourselves about what we can and cannot do—stories that explain why the world we live in is the way it is.

Limiting beliefs are the narratives we replay in our minds about why we can’t have what we want. It is the ongoing Mind Chatter in our heads.  The voice and the story that creates an invisible barrier between us and our New Year’s resolutions. These beliefs might sound like:

  • “I don’t deserve that promotion.”
  • “I’ve never been good with money, so saving is impossible.”
  • “I can’t keep the weight off because I don’t have time to exercise.”

These beliefs shape your behavior and create self-fulfilling prophecies. If you believe you can’t do something, you’re less likely to try, and even less likely to persist through challenges. The root of these limiting beliefs often stems from deep-seated thoughts like, I’m not good enough, I’m not worthy, I’m not lovable, or I don’t deserve success.

For me the limiting beliefs related to my estate planning are numerous.  “I have not achieved enough.”  “I should understand it all without needing others to explain it.”  “It is going to involve a lot of paperwork and I don’t have the time.”


So What?

Why does identifying limiting beliefs matter? Because this Mind Chatter in my head is creating artificial roadblocks for forward movement.  These beliefs are limiting the potential I can achieve in my life.  Because these beliefs weigh me down like invisible anchors. They sap my motivation and reinforce the very behaviors that keep me from achieving my goals. They create a cycle of inaction and frustration, where each unmet goal strengthens the belief that I can’t succeed.  They are often the reasons we break promises to ourselves.  And once we break a commitment we made to ourselves, we stop trusting ourselves.

When left unchallenged, limiting beliefs don’t just affect your resolutions—they shape your self-image. They whisper that you’re not capable, not deserving, or not enough. But here’s the thing: I am in control of those beliefs. And that’s where change begins.


Identifying the Culprit

If you can’t immediately identify a limiting belief, start by listening to that voice in your head. You know the one—the inner critic that lists everything that could go wrong or why something won’t work. Are any of those thoughts a limiting belief?

For example, when you consider skipping a workout or postponing your savings plan, what thoughts are behind that decision? Are they self-doubting statements like:

  • “I’ll never be consistent with exercise anyway.”
  • “I will never be as fit as Susie, so what is the point?”
  • “I’m terrible with money, so why bother trying?”
  • “I just don’t have enough money or time to save for a house.”

Now, ask yourself: Are these the reasons I keep breaking promises to myself? If the answer is yes, then you’ve found your limiting beliefs.


Now What?

We need to break free from limiting beliefs and replace them with empowering thoughts that support our goals:

1. Identify Your Limiting Beliefs

Start by writing down your limiting beliefs. Be honest and capture all the negative narratives that run through your mind. Write them all, no matter how unkind or irrational they may seem. This is for your eyes only, so don’t censor yourself.

For example:

  • “I’m not disciplined enough to stick to a plan.”
  • “I’ll never be successful because I always quit halfway.”
  • “I’m not smart enough to deserve a promotion.”

Once the list is complete, read it. Reflect on the weight these beliefs have carried in your life. How have they held you back? Feel the impact of those thoughts on your shoulders, your gut, and your heart.


2. Challenge the Beliefs

Now, challenge each belief. Ask yourself:

  • Is this really true?
  • What evidence do I have that this might not be true?
  • Maybe this was true in my past. Is it really true now?

For example:

  • Belief: “I’m not disciplined enough to stick to a plan.”
  • Truth: “Actually, I stuck to a savings plan for six months last year. That took discipline.”

For my limiting beliefs around my estate planning:

  • Belief: “I have not achieved enough.”
  • Truth: “ I have achieved a number of things.”
  • Belief: “I should understand it all without needing others to explain it.”
  • Truth: “ I understood enough to know I needed an estate plan.”
  • Belief:  “It is going to involve a lot of paperwork and I don’t have the time.”
  • Truth: “I completed my tax return on time last year, that involved paperwork and I found and made the time.”

By finding counter-evidence, I can begin to see that these beliefs are not absolute truths—they’re just stories I am telling myself.  Can you see where you do the same thing?


3. Replace the Beliefs with Affirmations

Reframe each limiting belief into an empowering affirmation. For every “I can’t,” create an “I can.” For every “I’m not,” create an “I am.” Here are some examples:

  • Limiting Belief: “I don’t deserve that promotion.”
    • Reframe: “I have worked hard, and I can gain recognition for my efforts.”
  • Limiting Belief: “I’ve never been good with money.”
    • Reframe: “I am learning to manage my money.  I can improve every day.”
  • Limiting Belief: “I don’t have time to exercise.”
    • Reframe: “I can prioritize my health.  I can start with small, consistent actions of five minutes a day.”

For me these reframes will be:

  • “I have achieved.”
  • “Other have expertise and want to help me.  They enjoy this line of work and helping others.”
  • “I can move forward one step at a time.  Small steps are progress.”

Write these affirmations down. Repeat them to yourself daily. The more you affirm your potential, the more you’ll start to believe in your ability to succeed.


4. Take Action, One Step at a Time

Breaking free from limiting beliefs requires action. Start small and build momentum. Each small step you take toward your goals reinforces your new, empowering beliefs.

For example:

  • If you’ve been telling yourself you can’t stick to a fitness routine, commit to a five-minute workout today.
  • If saving money feels impossible, start by saving $5 this week.

I have laid out small steps for me to take:

  • Read through the documents
  • Create a list of questions
  • Send the list of questions to my outside advisors
  • Ask my partner for help in gathering documents
  • Ask trusted advisors for their input
  • Separate the paperwork and finalize one thing at a time.  I can finalize the health care directive without having my will complete for instance.

Keeping our promises we make to ourselves builds a foundation for future success.  Success builds confidence. Confidence dismantles limiting beliefs.


And Then……….

I can see how I have allowed my limiting beliefs to sabotage me the last few years.  How I didn’t want to face the voice in my head.  However, after writing down these thoughts, challenging them, reframing them and creating plans that are manageable for me, I feel confident in achieving this goal this year.

Your New Year’s resolutions are within reach, but first, you have to clear the roadblocks in your mind. Limiting beliefs aren’t facts—they’re just stories. By identifying, challenging, and replacing them with empowering thoughts, you can rewrite the narrative and create a path to success.

The question isn’t, “Can I achieve my resolutions?” The question is, “Am I willing to let go of the beliefs that hold me back?” This year, choose to believe in your potential. The rest will follow.

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