Recently, someone remarked, “You are so confident.” That simple statement gave me pause. What does it really mean to be confident? Is it something you simply “have,” or is it a quality you can cultivate? And if the latter, how do we rediscover or build confidence when it feels elusive?
Redefining Confidence
Confidence is often viewed as an elusive trait—a magical quality some people are born with while others feel perpetually without. Yet, consider this: as children, many of us had unshakable confidence. Remember finger-painting in kindergarten, proudly declaring your creation as a masterpiece? Over time, that unfiltered joy in exploration often gives way to fear of failure, self-criticism, and comparison.
But what if confidence isn’t about being fearless or perfect? What if confidence is simply a willingness to try? To see mistakes not as failures, but as opportunities to learn and grow? What if it’s the belief that today’s missteps don’t define tomorrow’s possibilities?
Confidence as a Dynamic State
Confidence isn’t static—it’s a dynamic state shaped by experiences, mindsets, and the stories we tell ourselves. Self-imposed standards or societal expectations often cloud our innate confidence, making us question our abilities. Reclaiming confidence may begin with reframing our thoughts:
- Mistakes as Stepping Stones: Every attempt, successful or not, contributes to growth. Mistakes are lessons, not verdicts.
- Enjoying the Process: Confidence doesn’t require mastery; it requires curiosity and the joy of discovery. It’s found in the act of creating, exploring, and learning.
- Resilience as Confidence: Confidence is rooted in knowing that setbacks are temporary. Resilience—the ability to bounce back—is a key ingredient in building self-assurance.
What Confidence Makes Possible
When we redefine confidence, new doors open. Instead of waiting to feel “ready,” we can:
- Pursue a passion or hobby without fear of judgment.
- Explore new career opportunities or relationships.
- Engage in growth-focused, rather than outcome-focused, experiences.
Confidence isn’t a destination we reach; it’s a journey of continually choosing courage over fear and progress over perfection.
What Other Tools to Support the Creation of Confidence
Tools like Personalysis can be instrumental in building confidence as they identify what helps you learn, build trust , create higher self-awareness and understanding. Here’s how:
- Recognizing Strengths: Personalysis highlights your natural tendencies, helping you understand and lean into how you best learn. What information you need to build trust and confidence. What types of activities help you build understanding.
- Understanding Stressors: By identifying stress triggers, Personalysis empowers you to manage these challenges and lean into the areas that help you build confidence to offset these stressors..
- Enhancing Resilience: Personalysis helps you see how past experiences shape your responses, offering tools to rebuild confidence and trust in your abilities.
A Confidence-Building Challenge
Instead of waiting for confidence to magically appear, challenge yourself to take small, intentional steps. Pick up a journal, write down what you want to try, and take the first step. Sign up to work with a professional coach. Take the Personalysis assessment. Each effort—regardless of the outcome—is an act of courage that builds your confidence.
Confidence is less about achieving mastery and more about embracing growth. It’s a journey of trusting yourself to try, knowing that every attempt is valuable. So, what will you try today? What adventure will you embark on as you create your confidence?